ONCE UPON A TIME—There was a little freshman in a little red hoodie, and so the student body called her Little Red Riding Hoodie. Little Red Riding Hoodie ‘29 was returning from her evening chem lab when she got a Crime Alert warning her to look out for a big, bad coyote. She did not heed this warning, however, and skipped her merry way home to find her roommate tucked away in bed.
“What’s up?” called out Little Red Riding Hoodie, to no reply. She walked over to the bed, pulled back the covers and gasped.
“My, what big ears you have!” She exclaimed.
“Hey, rude,” replied her roommate.
“And what big hands you have!”
“Listen, I’m so hungover and I really don’t need this shit from you right now.”
“And, my! What big teeth you have!”
“Seriously, can you just turn the lights off and leave me alone for fifteen goddamn minutes?”
Little Red Riding Hoodie shrieked and scrambled for the door, convinced that the big, bad coyote had eaten her roommate and taken her place.
However, when she called in the tip to CUPD, she was informed that the coyote was shot two times in Cascadilla Gorge.
