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February 27, 2026
  • Hateful Professor Asks Question on Reading No One Read
  • Biology Major Slinks Sheepishly Out of Lab, One Rat Heavier
  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence
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  • Hateful Professor Asks Question on Reading No One Read

    16 hours ago16 hours ago
  • Biology Major Slinks Sheepishly Out of Lab, One Rat Heavier

    18 hours ago17 hours ago
  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window

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September 2, 2025

  • Classes

“I’m Going to Butcher These Names”: Professor Selects Students for Slaughter

Nooz Staff6 months ago5 months ago01 mins

URIS HALL—The second week of classes started uneventfully, with students settling into their routines and professors getting to know their classes. However, a few terrified students in Uris Hall G01 were in for a cruel surprise. “The professor seemed more irritated than last week. Maybe because only half the class showed up after he said…

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