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February 27, 2026
  • Hateful Professor Asks Question on Reading No One Read
  • Biology Major Slinks Sheepishly Out of Lab, One Rat Heavier
  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence
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September 29, 2025

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Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

Nooz Staff5 months ago5 months ago02 mins

CASCADILLA HALL—A White House announcement last Monday suggested that acetaminophen, commonly branded as Tylenol, is a leading cause of autism. The announcement sent shockwaves through the dating app community, members of whom are already adapting to the news. Local single Eric Pilgrim ‘28 immediately went on Hinge to announce that he “didn’t mind a little…

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