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April 8, 2026
  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday
  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture
  • Engineering School Phoenix Rises From the Asbestos
  • “But Promise You Won’t Be Mad If I Tell You?” Slope Day Committee Announces Artist Lineup
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  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday

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  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist

    11 months ago
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November 9, 2025

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Nooz Explains: Trump–Kotlikoff Deal

Nooz Staff5 months ago5 months ago01 mins

Terms of the agreement: Clause I: Carnelian Red MAGA hats to be sold at Cornell Store Clause III: Kotlikoff must trade blue Fruit Roll-Up for banana left in bottom of Trump’s lunch box Clause VI: Touchdown the Bear required to assist in ICE arrests Clause VIII: All University Communications will henceforth and From Now On…

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