THURSTON AVE. BRIDGE—At 9:16 PM Monday, a trudging line of solemnly shuffling figures could be seen snaking down to North Campus, participating in a timeless rite of post-prelim passage designed to cleanse the academic spirit. The lumbering group emitted a characteristic primal rumble of lamenting voices that could be heard for miles around as its migratory members swapped answers and patiently took turns pronouncing themselves incurably stupid.
“I’m starting to realize what a weed-out course mea—wait, question six asked for a vector orthogonal to the plane?” commented participant Casey Mueller ‘29 in an unfortunate series of evolving revelations.
However, there is an undeniable beauty in the momentary yet organic togetherness of such tortured creatures, temporarily drawn out from their solitary retreat of Celsius cans and overdue laundry to form unshakeable connections with whoever they may happen to be undertaking the journey alongside that evening, with a few exceptions.
“Honestly, I didn’t think it was that hard at all,” admitted one prelim-taker, Aiden Bradford ‘29. “I think everyone’s just being dramatic.” Bradford was shortly thereafter ejected from the group and permitted to bask alone in the blinding glory of his success.
According to experts, many sidewalk passerby fortunate enough to encounter these marvelous migratory events are promptly overtaken and homogeneously absorbed into the throng, irresistibly overcome by both the aura of bottomless despair and the innately mammalian desire for closeness with one’s kind. However, one may eventually extract oneself from the group and return home with not only a renewed sense of hope in the solidarity of the human spirit, but also a small headache.
