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August 2, 2026
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Slope Day

  • Slope Day

Slope Day Commission Elects New Set Of Martyrs

Nooz Staff3 years ago2 years ago03 mins

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Following the mass ostracization of last year’s Slope Day Programming Board, an entirely new set of victims, officially known as “members,” needed to be found. Fortunately, a group of students willing to impale themselves upon the unforgiving spear of dissatisfaction that is the student body have now been assembled.  “I shall relish in…

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  • Slope Day

SLOPE DAY SCANDAL: These “Food Tickets” Just Taste Like Paper

Nooz Staff3 years ago2 years ago03 mins

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—On May 1st, with Slope Day on the horizon, Cornell Dining launched their food ticket pre-sale at select locations across campus. Many students lined up at Okenshields to swipe in for their usual dinners, but one student, Jonah Kesky ‘26, was on a different mission.  “I remember he was the first person in…

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