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Saturday, September 5, 2026
Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
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Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

3 days ago3 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

3 days ago3 days ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

4 days ago4 days ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

11 months ago11 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

11 months ago6 months ago

Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

11 months ago11 months ago

Graph Theory Professor Planning Trip to North Campus Stumped by Odd Number of Bridges

12 months ago12 months ago

Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition

12 months ago

ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World

12 months ago11 months ago

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

12 months ago12 months ago
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Arizona Student Remarks on Difference Between Humidity and Dry Heat for Fifth Fucking Time

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

ARTS QUAD—Adding to his friends’ goddamn never ending list of complaints about the recent hot weather, Daniel Brenner ‘21 remarked on the difference between Ithaca’s humidity and the hot, arid climate of his hometown in Arizona for the fifth fucking time this week. “I would take 100 degrees and dry over 80 degrees and humid…

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2035 Survival of Human Species Not a Priority for Cornell, Garrett Says

Nooz Staff11 years ago01 mins

DAY HALL – President Elizabeth Garrett announced today that Cornell University would no longer strive to achieve complete survival of the human species by 2035, two years after former president David Skorton established action to keep people mostly alive by the same year. “We believe that it is not in our best interest at this…

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