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December 15, 2025
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
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  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Fatass Inducted Into Dining Hall of Fame

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Willard Straight Hall Turns 100, Runs for Congress

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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Bitch Mom Telling Daughter to Come Home Because of Global Pandemic

Nooz Staff6 years ago6 years ago03 mins

COLLEGETOWN – Amidst growing concerns over COVID-19 and the unrest caused by the current Pandemic, Jessica Springer, ‘22, has reportedly been told to come home by her shrewish, insufferable bitch of a mother.  In the past week, the Cornell community has seen classes indefinitely suspended, events of more than fifty people banned, and at the…

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