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Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened
9 hours ago9 hours ago
Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused
2 days ago2 days ago
Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means
11 months ago11 months ago
“Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South
11 months ago11 months ago
EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them
11 months ago11 months ago
“Consider a Man’s Life Situated on a Frictionless, Downward Plane”: Physics Professor Not Handling His Divorce Well
12 months ago12 months ago

Turkey Day Uh Oh! Ugly Cousin Hitting on You

Nooz Staff4 years ago03 mins

JERICO, NY – You were expecting a “nice and chill” Thanksgiving break back at home with your family. You’d been looking forward to the nice food, seeing your pets, and even chatting with family members you haven’t seen in a while. But before you know it, things are getting too hot to handle at the…

Senior Thrilled to Pick Which Two Family Members Get Heatstroke

Nooz Staff5 years ago03 mins

ITHACA, NY—With the new announcement that each graduating senior would receive two tickets for guests, students were delighted at the prospect of selecting which family members they’d send to the hospital for severe heat injuries. “I was so relieved to get that email,” said Marvin Thomas ’21. “A graduation without grandparents dropping like flies and…