cousin – CU Nooz

Headlines

“What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist
11 months ago
Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker
11 months ago11 months ago
Circle of Elders Regales Freshmen With Stories of the Before-Times When the Clocktower Was Free
11 months ago6 months ago
Girl Power! Group of Girlies Take Elevator Up to 7th Floor of Olin
11 months ago11 months ago
EDITORIAL | Nooz Will Endorse You For Student Assembly, Dependent On How Willing You Are To Push Our Interests
12 months ago12 months ago
“Hi, Mind If We Ask You a Quick Question?” Admitted Student’s Family Member Somehow Inside of Your Room
12 months ago12 months ago

Turkey Day Uh Oh! Ugly Cousin Hitting on You

Nooz Staff4 years ago03 mins

JERICO, NY – You were expecting a “nice and chill” Thanksgiving break back at home with your family. You’d been looking forward to the nice food, seeing your pets, and even chatting with family members you haven’t seen in a while. But before you know it, things are getting too hot to handle at the…

Senior Thrilled to Pick Which Two Family Members Get Heatstroke

Nooz Staff5 years ago03 mins

ITHACA, NY—With the new announcement that each graduating senior would receive two tickets for guests, students were delighted at the prospect of selecting which family members they’d send to the hospital for severe heat injuries. “I was so relieved to get that email,” said Marvin Thomas ’21. “A graduation without grandparents dropping like flies and…