cousin – CU Nooz

Headlines

University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though
5 hours ago5 hours ago
E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even
7 hours ago7 hours ago
Harry Potter Ass Motherfucker Studying Under Olin Stairs
1 day ago1 day ago
Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up
1 day ago1 day ago
Ty Dolla $ign Still Waiting for OurBus Back From Syracuse Airport
2 days ago2 days ago
Kotlikoff Sowwy For Washing Away Political Chalk Messages, Just Wanted To Play Hopscotch
2 days ago2 days ago

Turkey Day Uh Oh! Ugly Cousin Hitting on You

Nooz Staff4 years ago03 mins

JERICO, NY – You were expecting a “nice and chill” Thanksgiving break back at home with your family. You’d been looking forward to the nice food, seeing your pets, and even chatting with family members you haven’t seen in a while. But before you know it, things are getting too hot to handle at the…

Senior Thrilled to Pick Which Two Family Members Get Heatstroke

Nooz Staff5 years ago03 mins

ITHACA, NY—With the new announcement that each graduating senior would receive two tickets for guests, students were delighted at the prospect of selecting which family members they’d send to the hospital for severe heat injuries. “I was so relieved to get that email,” said Marvin Thomas ’21. “A graduation without grandparents dropping like flies and…