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April 20, 2026
  • Ty Dolla $ign Still Waiting for OurBus Back From Syracuse Airport
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  • Live Mouse in Dining Hall Quiets Fears Over Freshness of Mouse Stirfry
  • Cornell Parking Enforcement Welcomes Admitted Cars to Tow
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Bitch Mom Telling Daughter to Come Home Because of Global Pandemic

Nooz Staff6 years ago6 years ago03 mins

COLLEGETOWN – Amidst growing concerns over COVID-19 and the unrest caused by the current Pandemic, Jessica Springer, ‘22, has reportedly been told to come home by her shrewish, insufferable bitch of a mother.  In the past week, the Cornell community has seen classes indefinitely suspended, events of more than fifty people banned, and at the…

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