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December 16, 2025
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
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  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

    1 week ago1 week ago
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Disarmed Kathy Zoner Uses Rope & Lasso to Wrangle In Naughty Boys

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

ARTS QUAD—Following the passage of Student Assembly’s CUPD disarmament resolution, out-of-retirement Police Chief Kathy Zoner was spotted responsibly locking away her firearm before holstering 10 feet of rope and taking to the streets on horseback. “Her stallion was galloping alongside a speeding car on East Ave. She lassoed its tailpipe and pulled it into the…

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