Finals – Page 2

Headlines

OP-ED: You And I Both Know Our Construction Team Can’t Handle Building A Pathway In Ezra’s Tunnel
9 years ago9 years ago
Student Who Bleeds Big Red Sadly Returns Latest Nike Shoes
9 years ago
Report: Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday
9 years ago9 years ago
Student at Summer Internship Drops Fourth Hint of Day That He Goes to Cornell
10 years ago
Professors Notice Increase in Student Motivation To Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was
10 years ago10 years ago
Report: 10:10 Lecture Fills Up Too Quickly and Oh Boo Hoo You Sad Fucks
10 years ago10 years ago

Low iPhone Battery Miraculously Lasts 8 Days in Library

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

OLIN LIBRARY — In what witnesses are calling a true miracle, it has been confirmed that Ethan Gold’s iPhone battery managed to last eight days straight while he was studying in Olin library for his final exams. “I was shocked by how long the battery lasted,” Gold recounted. “Going into the first day of finals…

Professor Trying to Understand Inferior, Feeble Mind in Office Hours

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

BAKER HALL — After trying several times to help one of his students with a difficult problem set, Materials Science Professor Dr. Jared Schafer was still attempting to comprehend Sophie Adler’s ’18 baffling inability to understand difficult concepts. “I’m really having a hard time understanding why you’re not getting this,” he said to the novice…