Skip to content
December 16, 2025
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Fatass Inducted Into Dining Hall of Fame

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Willard Straight Hall Turns 100, Runs for Congress

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Home
  • fork

fork

  • Uncategorized

Lord Barista, Guardian of the Utensils, Fends Off Horde of Fork Thieves

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

LIBE CAFÉ—As hordes of malicious fork thieves seek to empty the coffers of Libe Café, the awe-inspiring Lord Barista, guardian of the utensils, stands at the ready to defend what’s left of the library’s plasticware. “Sorry, we can only give you a fork if you buy a salad, or sushi, or something like that,” the…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2025. Powered By BlazeThemes.