Skip to content
February 14, 2026
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships
  • Trendy Multicolored Scarf No Match for Arctic Windchill
  • Hazing Club Suspended For Paperwork Issue
  • “Reject The Evidence of Your Eyes and Ears” and 8 Other Guidelines From the Presidential Task Force on Institutional Voice
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships

    13 hours ago13 hours ago
  • Trendy Multicolored Scarf No Match for Arctic Windchill

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Hazing Club Suspended For Paperwork Issue

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • “Reject The Evidence of Your Eyes and Ears” and 8 Other Guidelines From the Presidential Task Force on Institutional Voice

    4 days ago
  • Lindsey Vonn Assured Knee Around Here Somewhere

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • DraftKings Super Bowl Promo Offers Free Bets To Anyone On Active Roster

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Home
  • fork

fork

  • Uncategorized

Lord Barista, Guardian of the Utensils, Fends Off Horde of Fork Thieves

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

LIBE CAFÉ—As hordes of malicious fork thieves seek to empty the coffers of Libe Café, the awe-inspiring Lord Barista, guardian of the utensils, stands at the ready to defend what’s left of the library’s plasticware. “Sorry, we can only give you a fork if you buy a salad, or sushi, or something like that,” the…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.