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February 14, 2026
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships
  • Trendy Multicolored Scarf No Match for Arctic Windchill
  • Hazing Club Suspended For Paperwork Issue
  • “Reject The Evidence of Your Eyes and Ears” and 8 Other Guidelines From the Presidential Task Force on Institutional Voice
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OP-ED: I Finally Got Drunk Enough to Carry The Fwuffy Wuffy Skunk Back to My Dorm

Nooz Staff4 years ago04 mins

I had just begun the godforsaken journey up Eddy street back toward North Campus, my arms slung over the shoulders of my marginally less drunk friends and my feet dragging uselessly behind, when I noticed what appeared to be a Club Penguin puffle waddling beside us in the brush.  “Boys, boys,” I whispered, “You see…

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