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December 15, 2025
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
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  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Fatass Inducted Into Dining Hall of Fame

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Willard Straight Hall Turns 100, Runs for Congress

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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  • Goldman Sachs

Goldman Sachs

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Dyson Junior Networks Too Hard, Marries Goldman Sachs Recruiter

Nooz Staff7 years ago02 mins

SAGE CHAPEL—After schmoozing with Goldman Sachs recruiter Meredith Hook at a company information session last Thursday, Zackary Chase ‘20 found himself in a marriage engagement, rather than landing a prestigious job as he originally intended. “When I handed her my resume and she saw my 2.79 GPA, I thought I was done for,” said Chase,…

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  • Uncategorized

Goldman Sachs Resume Sorting Algorithm Totally into Hiking Too

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago02 mins

198.58.106.214—AEM Junior Todd McKleary recently struck a chord with the robot responsible for sorting resumes submitted to Goldman Sachs after it was discovered the two share an interest in hiking. The algorithm, licensed by Goldman Sachs from UK-based system provider Oleeo, has been ranking resumes for nearly half a decade and is reportedly happy to…

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