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March 17, 2026
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
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  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It

    29 minutes ago29 minutes ago
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir

    35 minutes ago35 minutes ago
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    5 days ago5 days ago
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  • Goldman Sachs

Goldman Sachs

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Dyson Junior Networks Too Hard, Marries Goldman Sachs Recruiter

Nooz Staff7 years ago02 mins

SAGE CHAPEL—After schmoozing with Goldman Sachs recruiter Meredith Hook at a company information session last Thursday, Zackary Chase ‘20 found himself in a marriage engagement, rather than landing a prestigious job as he originally intended. “When I handed her my resume and she saw my 2.79 GPA, I thought I was done for,” said Chase,…

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Goldman Sachs Resume Sorting Algorithm Totally into Hiking Too

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago02 mins

198.58.106.214—AEM Junior Todd McKleary recently struck a chord with the robot responsible for sorting resumes submitted to Goldman Sachs after it was discovered the two share an interest in hiking. The algorithm, licensed by Goldman Sachs from UK-based system provider Oleeo, has been ranking resumes for nearly half a decade and is reportedly happy to…

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