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Friday, September 4, 2026
Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
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Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

2 days ago2 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

2 days ago2 days ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

3 days ago3 days ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

11 months ago11 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

11 months ago6 months ago

Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

11 months ago11 months ago

Graph Theory Professor Planning Trip to North Campus Stumped by Odd Number of Bridges

11 months ago11 months ago

Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition

12 months ago

ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World

12 months ago11 months ago

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

12 months ago12 months ago
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Rawlings Warns Grad Students That Union Might Give Them Brief Glimmer of Happiness

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL – In response to a major push at Cornell toward forming the first graduate student union in the school’s history, Interim President Hunter Rawlings III sent an email out earlier today warning the university that unionizing would offer Masters and PhD students a brief glimmer of hope and happiness unseen since beginning their…

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Graduating Senior Blissfully Unaware Gap-Year Actually Gap-Decade

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

SCHOELLKOPF — Recent classics major graduate Brenton Phan ’16 has reportedly been blissfully unaware that the break from his career path will be a lot longer than he expects it to be, as the gap-year he was planning on taking before going to graduate school will slowly turn into a gap-decade. “I feel like I…

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Pre-Med Worried GPA Not High Enough to Get into Top Tier Heaven

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago01 mins

After sending out dozens of applications over the past month, Christina Walkerman ’16 is currently realizing that her cumulative GPA may not be high enough to grant her admission to a top-tier afterlife. “I’ve done the community service, internships, and got a great score on the MCAT, but it’s my grades that I’m concerned about,”…

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