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March 12, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
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  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    6 hours ago6 hours ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    7 hours ago7 hours ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Dumb Idiot Bunny Rabbit Doesn’t Know It About to Get Cold Again

    3 days ago3 days ago
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Cornellians Graduating Without Taking Swim Test Report Feeling Unprepared to Enter the Workforce

Nooz Staff4 years ago03 mins

NEW YORK CITY–Last Monday, Shelby Lawrence ‘21 began her first day at her entry-level job as a Coffee Gofer at Morgan Stanley and was met with an unwelcome surprise: without having completed Cornell’s mandatory swim test due to COVID-19 cancellations, she was completely in over her head!  “At first I thought it was the two…

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Student Says Bye To Senior Only To See Her Again Two Days Later

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

HO PLAZA— After saying an emotional final goodbye to her graduating friend two days ago, Mindy Randall ’18 was reportedly caught off guard this morning when she locked eyes with the girl she thought she’d never see again on Ho Plaza. “I couldn’t decide whether to say hi, or goodbye again, or just squint and…

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