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November 18, 2025
  • Kotlikoff Not Sure This Best Time To Redeem Newly Acquired Mar-A-Lago Flight Voucher
  • “Gays For Trump” Knew They Were Onto Something
  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota
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Study: Plot of Grass in Shade Has Gotten More Ass Than All Greek Life Combined

Nooz Staff4 years ago04 mins

ARTS QUAD—According to a landmark study released in an unprecedented joint collaboration between Cornell’s Plant Science and Psychology departments, grass that’s conveniently located beneath the motherly shade of a firm oak tree is getting way more ass than the combined membership of all Greek Life.   “I initially laughed when my advisee said he wanted…

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