Hamster

OP-ED: I Sacrificed My Roommate’s Therapy Hamster to My Sneaky Link’s Therapy Cat to Appease the CourseGrab Gods

Nooz Staff4 years ago04 mins

I was sitting in my first Zoom class of the semester, blissfully chewing the singular grape I salvaged from the Toni Morisson honeydew trough, when my FWS professor asked us to debrief on the 200-page reading assignment that, quite frankly, I thought was a joke. I laughed for a moment, thinking that it would be…

Student Dreads Return Home to Her Fighting Hamsters Over Break

Nooz Staff8 years ago8 years ago02 mins

WESTCHESTER, NY—Freshman Jasper Griffith ‘21 would rather stay in Ithaca over break, but is instead reluctantly returning home to visit her bickering hamsters, Martha and Lance. “My house just doesn’t feel like a home anymore. It’s a cold atmosphere. Martha and Lance can’t stop fighting, and it’s ripping my family a new asshole,” said Griffith…

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OP-ED: Hey Ryan, So Like Now That You’re On Sabbatical, I Was Wondering If You’d Like To Maybe Hang Out Sometime Soon? We Can Grab Coffee On Friday Haha. I’m Sort Of Behind On Rent So If You Could Pay That Would Be Cool

Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information

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Frat With No Pledges Handing Out Sad Little Pamphlets Outside Dining Hall Like An A Capella Group

OP-ED: I Sacrificed My Roommate’s Therapy Hamster to My Sneaky Link’s Therapy Cat to Appease the CourseGrab Gods

Student Dreads Return Home to Her Fighting Hamsters Over Break