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Friday, September 11, 2026
Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine

1 day ago1 day ago

Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis

2 days ago2 days ago

English Department Receives $12 Grant

2 days ago2 days ago

Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

3 days ago3 days ago

Birder Actually Not Sure About That One

3 days ago3 days ago

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

1 week ago2 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

1 week ago1 week ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

1 week ago1 week ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

12 months ago12 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

12 months ago7 months ago
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Hamster

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OP-ED: I Sacrificed My Roommate’s Therapy Hamster to My Sneaky Link’s Therapy Cat to Appease the CourseGrab Gods

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

I was sitting in my first Zoom class of the semester, blissfully chewing the singular grape I salvaged from the Toni Morisson honeydew trough, when my FWS professor asked us to debrief on the 200-page reading assignment that, quite frankly, I thought was a joke. I laughed for a moment, thinking that it would be…

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Student Dreads Return Home to Her Fighting Hamsters Over Break

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago01 mins

WESTCHESTER, NY—Freshman Jasper Griffith ‘21 would rather stay in Ithaca over break, but is instead reluctantly returning home to visit her bickering hamsters, Martha and Lance. “My house just doesn’t feel like a home anymore. It’s a cold atmosphere. Martha and Lance can’t stop fighting, and it’s ripping my family a new asshole,” said Griffith…

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