Skip to content
March 14, 2026
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    14 hours ago14 hours ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    17 hours ago17 hours ago
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Home
  • Heat

Heat

  • Uncategorized

Student Awakens Yet Again to Re-Adjust Oscillating Fan

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN—Drenched in sweat and in a state of utter defeat, Matthew Finley ‘20 awoke yet again last night to re-adjust his oscillating fan. “See, I want it close to me, but then it can’t pull in the cool air from the window! What do I do?” cried a desperate Finley, shifting the fan an inch…

Read More
  • Uncategorized

OP-ED: I Refuse To Shower If I’m Just Going To Walk Somewhere Later

Nooz Staff10 years ago03 mins

I’m done. That’s it. I give up. I’m not showering until the weather cools down. Every single day, no matter where I go or what time it is, I am drenched in sweat from head to toe. Collegetown to Uris? No question. Rockefeller to the Engineering Quad? Yep. I had to walk from Klarman to…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.