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Headlines

OP-ED: Fuck, Time to Scrap That “Worker’s Rights” Theme Year
2 years ago2 years ago
Freshman from England Used to Eating Inedible Food
2 years ago2 years ago
Overachievers? Couple in The Back of Hideaway Already Busy Making Double Legacies
3 years ago3 years ago
Qatar Campus To Celebrate ‘Limit of Expression’ Year
3 years ago5 months ago
OP-ED: Dear Freshmen, that Twenty-Person O-Week Friend Group is Much Cooler Than You and If You Don’t Have Best Friends Yet, Just Give Up Trying
3 years ago5 months ago
Freshman Patiently Waiting to Cross College Ave Gets Hit by Car Anyway
3 years ago5 months ago

Student Awakens Yet Again to Re-Adjust Oscillating Fan

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

COLLEGETOWN—Drenched in sweat and in a state of utter defeat, Matthew Finley ‘20 awoke yet again last night to re-adjust his oscillating fan. “See, I want it close to me, but then it can’t pull in the cool air from the window! What do I do?” cried a desperate Finley, shifting the fan an inch…

OP-ED: I Refuse To Shower If I’m Just Going To Walk Somewhere Later

Nooz Staff10 years ago03 mins

I’m done. That’s it. I give up. I’m not showering until the weather cools down. Every single day, no matter where I go or what time it is, I am drenched in sweat from head to toe. Collegetown to Uris? No question. Rockefeller to the Engineering Quad? Yep. I had to walk from Klarman to…