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November 18, 2025
  • “Gays For Trump” Knew They Were Onto Something
  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota
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Entire Nation Way Too High and Paranoid to Leave House Right Now

Nooz Staff6 years ago03 mins

USA—Reports and online activity from across the country indicate that citizens are far too fucking zoinked to go outside at the moment. “It’s just that the outside world is super scary right now,” said Brent Rant ‘22, who is currently fried inside his Bend, Oregon home. “For example, my neighbor could notice how totally stoned…

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