July 4th – CU Nooz

Headlines

Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
3 weeks ago3 weeks ago
“I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
3 weeks ago3 weeks ago
Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President
1 year ago1 year ago
In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
1 year ago1 year ago
L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
1 year ago1 year ago

Report: Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago02 mins

CHICAGO, IL—After being asked “How was your weekend?” as he entered the office, summer intern Connor Lee ‘18 concluded this morning upon gathering data from Monday and Tuesday that, holy shit, it’s Wednesday. “On Monday I just chilled at home, then on Tuesday I hung with my family at the lake, and then…holy shit, it’s…

Student In Charge of Planning America-Themed Family Mixer

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

ARLINGTON, VA—Due to his extensive experience in organizing social events as a member of a fraternity, Winston Jepson ’19 has been trusted to plan an America-themed family mixer this July 4th. “People wearing red, white, and blue enter no questions asked, but if you’re lame then at least bring alcohol for the pregame,” Jepson’s memo…