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October 24, 2025
  • Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class
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Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

Nooz Staff4 weeks ago4 weeks ago03 mins

LIBE CAFE—The University’s switch from Starbucks to La Colombe this semester was seen as a resounding success for the local labor movement, and a devastating defeat for any fucking idiot with English as their first language. One such dumbass, Tom Hall ‘27, is having an especially difficult time nailing down the new cafe’s pronunciation. “I…

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