lunch – CU Nooz

Headlines

Eric Adams Drops Out of NYC Mayoral Race, Excited to Pursue Corruption in Other Aspects of Public Service
15 hours ago15 hours ago
Please Take One! Frat Leaves Basket of Zyns on Doorstep for Early Recruitment of Trick-or-Treaters
11 months ago11 months ago
“Can I be Gru?” Asks Short, Yellow, One-Eyed Friend with No Self-Awareness
11 months ago11 months ago
Illegal Canadian Immigrants Descend on Lynah Rink Thanks to Josh Riley’s Open Border Policy
11 months ago11 months ago
Ben Shapiro Stirs Up Hydrophobic Allegations After Swallowing Motor Oil to Make Voice Extra Squeaky
11 months ago11 months ago
“Hot, Single 19 Year Old, Down For Hand Stuff” Costume Really Popular Among Divorced Dads
11 months ago11 months ago

Lucky Student Manages to Snag Thirty Free Tables in Temple of Zeus During Lunch Rush

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

TEMPLE OF ZEUS—Scrambling to beat the lunch rush at Temple of Zeus, Jackson France ’23 was elated to find the thirty tables he wanted all free. “I’m always extra vigilant on Mac and Cheese Day because I know how cutthroat it can get,” explained France. “I didn’t expect to get more than 22 or 23…

Student Enters Sixth Hour of Waiting to be let into 2nd Floor of Trillium

Nooz Staff6 years ago03 mins

KENNEDY HALL—Citing her exasperation at no one making enough eye contact for her to silently mime an opening motion before being let through the one-way door, Katherine Ochona, ’21, has reportedly spent the last 6 hours orbiting the 2nd floor door between Kennedy Hall and Trillium. “I was just leaving my 10:10 Biochemistry class, when…