lunch – CU Nooz

Headlines

Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President
6 days ago6 days ago
In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
7 days ago7 days ago
L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Rest of Sesame Street Crew Also Forced to Live in Trash Cans After PBS Defunding
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Nooz Explains: 15 Exciting Ways to Set Off the Fire Alarm at 2:30 in the Goddamn Morning
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Lucky Student Manages to Snag Thirty Free Tables in Temple of Zeus During Lunch Rush

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

TEMPLE OF ZEUS—Scrambling to beat the lunch rush at Temple of Zeus, Jackson France ’23 was elated to find the thirty tables he wanted all free. “I’m always extra vigilant on Mac and Cheese Day because I know how cutthroat it can get,” explained France. “I didn’t expect to get more than 22 or 23…

Student Enters Sixth Hour of Waiting to be let into 2nd Floor of Trillium

Nooz Staff6 years ago03 mins

KENNEDY HALL—Citing her exasperation at no one making enough eye contact for her to silently mime an opening motion before being let through the one-way door, Katherine Ochona, ’21, has reportedly spent the last 6 hours orbiting the 2nd floor door between Kennedy Hall and Trillium. “I was just leaving my 10:10 Biochemistry class, when…