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November 4, 2025
  • Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused
  • Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be
  • Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint
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  • Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened

    12 hours ago12 hours ago
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South

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  • EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them

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  • “Consider a Man’s Life Situated on a Frictionless, Downward Plane”: Physics Professor Not Handling His Divorce Well

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Cornell Announces All Log Ins Will Require a Signed Permission Form From Mommy

Nooz Staff4 years ago4 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—In a surprise announcement by the administration this Tuesday, Cornell will  replace Duo Mobile with a permission form to take home to Mommy in its newest efforts in the war on cybercrime. “I think this new system is just lovely,” remarked Kaitlyn McCullough, mother of Xander McCullough ‘23, as she cut up a PB&J…

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OP-ED: Inconsiderate Asshole Is Successful When I Am Not

Nooz Staff5 years ago5 years ago03 mins

In a targeted attack to ruin my life, absolute shitstain Roger Wilhelm ‘22 continues to be successful at literally everything, while I can’t even tie my shoelaces without them coming undone five steps later.  Roger recently announced his internship at Doctors Without Borders, which he only got because his roommate’s aunt’s tennis partner-in-law worked there…

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