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February 9, 2026
  • Top 10 Addresses of Daily Sun Writers
  • Okenshields Fork Crust Applauded for Contributions to Biodiversity Research
  • Professor Adds Epstein Files Acknowledgement to Email Signature
  • Report: No Way Ice Cream Hard Enough to Justify How Long Guy Ahead of You Has Been Scooping
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  • Top 10 Addresses of Daily Sun Writers

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Okenshields Fork Crust Applauded for Contributions to Biodiversity Research

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Professor Adds Epstein Files Acknowledgement to Email Signature

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Report: No Way Ice Cream Hard Enough to Justify How Long Guy Ahead of You Has Been Scooping

    7 days ago7 days ago
  • Birder Aboard Doomed Plane Gleefully Identifies Species of Goose Flying Into Engine

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Whoa, Buster! Bundle of Big Sporty Fellows in Dining Hall Sure Are Hungry

    12 months ago12 months ago
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Cornell Announces All Log Ins Will Require a Signed Permission Form From Mommy

Nooz Staff5 years ago5 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—In a surprise announcement by the administration this Tuesday, Cornell will  replace Duo Mobile with a permission form to take home to Mommy in its newest efforts in the war on cybercrime. “I think this new system is just lovely,” remarked Kaitlyn McCullough, mother of Xander McCullough ‘23, as she cut up a PB&J…

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OP-ED: Inconsiderate Asshole Is Successful When I Am Not

Nooz Staff5 years ago5 years ago03 mins

In a targeted attack to ruin my life, absolute shitstain Roger Wilhelm ‘22 continues to be successful at literally everything, while I can’t even tie my shoelaces without them coming undone five steps later.  Roger recently announced his internship at Doctors Without Borders, which he only got because his roommate’s aunt’s tennis partner-in-law worked there…

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