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March 19, 2026
  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow
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  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”

    19 hours ago19 hours ago
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    6 days ago6 days ago
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Cornell Health Boasts Selective 2% Acceptance Rate for 2025 Appointment Cycle

Nooz Staff5 months ago03 mins

CORNELL HEALTH—A proud newly accepted class of 15 lucky Cornell students have been selected to fill all available appointment slots this semester. Cornell Health released statistics about their incoming class: “The average stab wound of an accepted patient came in at an impressive 12 inches long, most students filled out their forms in less than…

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