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Friday, September 4, 2026
Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
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Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

2 days ago2 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

2 days ago2 days ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

3 days ago3 days ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

11 months ago11 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

11 months ago6 months ago

Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

11 months ago11 months ago

Graph Theory Professor Planning Trip to North Campus Stumped by Odd Number of Bridges

11 months ago11 months ago

Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition

12 months ago

ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World

12 months ago11 months ago

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

12 months ago12 months ago
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Cornell Health Boasts Selective 2% Acceptance Rate for 2025 Appointment Cycle

Nooz Staff11 months ago02 mins

CORNELL HEALTH—A proud newly accepted class of 15 lucky Cornell students have been selected to fill all available appointment slots this semester. Cornell Health released statistics about their incoming class: “The average stab wound of an accepted patient came in at an impressive 12 inches long, most students filled out their forms in less than…

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