National Guard Numbers Dwindle as Troops Assimilated into Greater Portland Polycule
PORTLAND, OR—Hundreds of California National Guard troops were mobilized Sunday in an unlawful move by the Trump administration. Sent to quell nonviolent protests in nearby Portland, Oregon, members of the force quickly found themselves overwhelmed by the romantic advances of the city’s legions of polyamorous inhabitants. “We were warned about Antifa, but this is much,…