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February 14, 2026
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships
  • Trendy Multicolored Scarf No Match for Arctic Windchill
  • Hazing Club Suspended For Paperwork Issue
  • “Reject The Evidence of Your Eyes and Ears” and 8 Other Guidelines From the Presidential Task Force on Institutional Voice
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  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships

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  • Trendy Multicolored Scarf No Match for Arctic Windchill

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  • Hazing Club Suspended For Paperwork Issue

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  • “Reject The Evidence of Your Eyes and Ears” and 8 Other Guidelines From the Presidential Task Force on Institutional Voice

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  • Lindsey Vonn Assured Knee Around Here Somewhere

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  • DraftKings Super Bowl Promo Offers Free Bets To Anyone On Active Roster

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privilege

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Parents Upset Son Wasting Money Spent on Phone by Leaving It in Pocket During Lecture

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

CINCINNATI, OHIO— Cornell Parents Robert and Sarah were infuriated earlier today upon learning that their son, Joseph Plotnick ‘20, takes thorough notes in class without even glancing at his $870 iPhone 7 Plus, instead wastefully leaving it in his coat pocket during lecture. “We did not spend our hard-earned money for you to just ignore…

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Prep School Kid Went To Prep School, Repeats Prep School Kid

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

COURT HALL — Stating earlier today that he “went to prep school,” freshman prep school kid Davison Williams has repeated that he went to a prep school. “I attended a private boy’s academy in Connecticut, along with His Excellency The Prince of Kuwait, or have I already mentioned that?” asked Williams, taking every opportunity in…

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