Skip to content
April 2, 2026
  • Engineering School Phoenix Rises From the Asbestos
  • “But Promise You Won’t Be Mad If I Tell You?” Slope Day Committee Announces Artist Lineup
  • Club Members Force Feed Students 20 Cold Chicken Sandwiches to Meet Fundraiser Quota
  • Idiot Professor Points to Blank Screen After iPad Shuts Off
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist

    11 months ago
  • Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • Circle of Elders Regales Freshmen With Stories of the Before-Times When the Clocktower Was Free

    11 months ago6 months ago
  • Girl Power! Group of Girlies Take Elevator Up to 7th Floor of Olin

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • EDITORIAL | Nooz Will Endorse You For Student Assembly, Dependent On How Willing You Are To Push Our Interests

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • “Hi, Mind If We Ask You a Quick Question?” Admitted Student’s Family Member Somehow Inside of Your Room

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • Russia

Russia

  • Uncategorized

OP-ED: I Rushed a Sorority as an Undercover Russian Agent

Nooz Staff8 years ago8 years ago04 mins

I am not a sorority girl. I enjoy neither the effeminate American beer nor singing the praises of true democracy with loud girls. However, after receiving orders from Putin himself, I found myself in the throngs of brainwashed, constitution-loving idiots, blending in well with my collection of Johnny Cash T-shirts. Why subject myself to this…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.