Skip to content
January 31, 2026
  • Cornell Engineering Debuts ‘This Is What A David Duffield Looks Like’ Shirt
  • Puffer Jacket in Heels Excited to Hit the Town
  • Everyone at Ithaca REI Dressed Like Employee
  • Chuck Schumer Vows to Stand Up to Republicans Until It Time to Take Nap
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • Birder Aboard Doomed Plane Gleefully Identifies Species of Goose Flying Into Engine

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • Whoa, Buster! Bundle of Big Sporty Fellows in Dining Hall Sure Are Hungry

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • Pope Sick

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Put Me In, Coach!” Zeus Patron Benched

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • Girls Night! Gaggle of Amorphous Puffer Jackets Mobilizes Toward Level B

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Top Consulting Clubs Welcome Next Generation of Highly Qualified Donut Salesmen

    12 months ago
  • Home
  • Russia

Russia

  • Uncategorized

OP-ED: I Rushed a Sorority as an Undercover Russian Agent

Nooz Staff8 years ago8 years ago04 mins

I am not a sorority girl. I enjoy neither the effeminate American beer nor singing the praises of true democracy with loud girls. However, after receiving orders from Putin himself, I found myself in the throngs of brainwashed, constitution-loving idiots, blending in well with my collection of Johnny Cash T-shirts. Why subject myself to this…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.