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March 13, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
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  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
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Freshman Unsure Which Washing Machine Full of Cornell T-Shirts is Hers

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

LOW RISE 6—Freshman Rachel Xiong’s first attempt at doing laundry since coming to college was brought to a halt yesterday after she could not determine which load of red and gray Cornell t-shirts belonged to her. “It’s a complete disaster. I put all my clothes in there—Arts and Sciences T-shirts for daily wear, Big Red…

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