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November 5, 2025
  • “Bacon, Egg, and Cheese”: Cuomo Seen Practicing Under His Breath Minutes Before Interview
  • Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused
  • Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be
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    “Bacon, Egg, and Cheese”: Cuomo Seen Practicing Under His Breath Minutes Before Interview

    14 hours ago14 hours ago
  • Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them

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Cornell Officially Closes at 5 AM, Professor Moves Class to 4 AM

Nooz Staff8 years ago8 years ago02 mins

BAKER HALL—After Cornell announced that campus will be closed starting at 5 AM, dedicated chemistry professor Chuck E. Chang had no choice but to drag his students into lecture at the crisp hour of 4 in the morning. “Normally I don’t allow beverages in my classroom, but I made a special exception for those students…

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  • Uncategorized

University Just Cancels Class Because It Didn’t Do The Reading

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—After pulling an all-nighter and taking two prelims this week, the exhausted University has decided to just cancel class because it didn’t do the reading. “Usually I just squeeze out some state-of-the-art bullshit for participation credit, but fuck it—I’m so done with this semester,” said the University while getting ready to go out for…

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