Skip to content
Saturday, September 5, 2026
Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”
Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today
Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

3 days ago3 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

3 days ago3 days ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

4 days ago4 days ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

11 months ago11 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

11 months ago6 months ago

Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

11 months ago11 months ago

Graph Theory Professor Planning Trip to North Campus Stumped by Odd Number of Bridges

12 months ago12 months ago

Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition

12 months ago

ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World

12 months ago11 months ago

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • snow day

snow day

  • Uncategorized

Cornell Officially Closes at 5 AM, Professor Moves Class to 4 AM

Nooz Staff9 years ago9 years ago01 mins

BAKER HALL—After Cornell announced that campus will be closed starting at 5 AM, dedicated chemistry professor Chuck E. Chang had no choice but to drag his students into lecture at the crisp hour of 4 in the morning. “Normally I don’t allow beverages in my classroom, but I made a special exception for those students…

Read Full News
  • Uncategorized

University Just Cancels Class Because It Didn’t Do The Reading

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

DAY HALL—After pulling an all-nighter and taking two prelims this week, the exhausted University has decided to just cancel class because it didn’t do the reading. “Usually I just squeeze out some state-of-the-art bullshit for participation credit, but fuck it—I’m so done with this semester,” said the University while getting ready to go out for…

Read Full News
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.