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May 24, 2026
  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
  • Student Accused of Using AI Forced to Defend Worst Discussion Post Ever
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  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident

    3 weeks ago3 weeks ago
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section

    3 weeks ago3 weeks ago
  • Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President

    1 year ago1 year ago
  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power

    1 year ago1 year ago
  • L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks

    1 year ago1 year ago
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Cornell Officially Closes at 5 AM, Professor Moves Class to 4 AM

Nooz Staff8 years ago8 years ago02 mins

BAKER HALL—After Cornell announced that campus will be closed starting at 5 AM, dedicated chemistry professor Chuck E. Chang had no choice but to drag his students into lecture at the crisp hour of 4 in the morning. “Normally I don’t allow beverages in my classroom, but I made a special exception for those students…

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University Just Cancels Class Because It Didn’t Do The Reading

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—After pulling an all-nighter and taking two prelims this week, the exhausted University has decided to just cancel class because it didn’t do the reading. “Usually I just squeeze out some state-of-the-art bullshit for participation credit, but fuck it—I’m so done with this semester,” said the University while getting ready to go out for…

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