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September 10, 2025
  • Fourth Info Session Paints Club in Totally New Light
  • Mononucleosis Researcher Calls for Release of Epstein-Barr Phials
  • New Roommates Still Figuring Out Masturbation Schedule
  • “Hey! Do You Hate Your Life Too?”: Project Team Gauges Interest
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Squirrels

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Campus Squirrel Contemplates Digging 1,500 Small Holes

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

TOWER ROAD — Speedily rubbing its paws together and darting its tail this way and that, an indecisive campus squirrel reportedly contemplated whether or not to dig over one thousand small holes in the ground. “Those woodchips over there look pretty easy to move around. I could probably dig a few holes by that tree…

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Squirrel Watching Club Neglects Duties as Squirrels Rampage Through Campus

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

HO PLAZA — The Cornell campus was on high alert at 11 p.m. last night when a horde of squirrels went into a frenzy through campus after the Squirrel Watching Club neglected its duties during finals week to watch squirrels for radical behavior. “We acknowledge our shortcomings, and we apologize,” said Elizabeth Harvey ’16, president…

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