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March 13, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
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  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    19 hours ago19 hours ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    20 hours ago20 hours ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Dumb Idiot Bunny Rabbit Doesn’t Know It About to Get Cold Again

    4 days ago4 days ago
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Squirrels

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Campus Squirrel Contemplates Digging 1,500 Small Holes

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

TOWER ROAD — Speedily rubbing its paws together and darting its tail this way and that, an indecisive campus squirrel reportedly contemplated whether or not to dig over one thousand small holes in the ground. “Those woodchips over there look pretty easy to move around. I could probably dig a few holes by that tree…

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Squirrel Watching Club Neglects Duties as Squirrels Rampage Through Campus

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

HO PLAZA — The Cornell campus was on high alert at 11 p.m. last night when a horde of squirrels went into a frenzy through campus after the Squirrel Watching Club neglected its duties during finals week to watch squirrels for radical behavior. “We acknowledge our shortcomings, and we apologize,” said Elizabeth Harvey ’16, president…

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