Squirrels – CU Nooz

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“It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
15 hours ago15 hours ago
CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots
19 hours ago18 hours ago
Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
2 days ago2 days ago
“These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
2 days ago2 days ago
Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
3 days ago3 days ago
Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
4 days ago4 days ago

Campus Squirrel Contemplates Digging 1,500 Small Holes

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

TOWER ROAD — Speedily rubbing its paws together and darting its tail this way and that, an indecisive campus squirrel reportedly contemplated whether or not to dig over one thousand small holes in the ground. “Those woodchips over there look pretty easy to move around. I could probably dig a few holes by that tree…

Squirrel Watching Club Neglects Duties as Squirrels Rampage Through Campus

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

HO PLAZA — The Cornell campus was on high alert at 11 p.m. last night when a horde of squirrels went into a frenzy through campus after the Squirrel Watching Club neglected its duties during finals week to watch squirrels for radical behavior. “We acknowledge our shortcomings, and we apologize,” said Elizabeth Harvey ’16, president…