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November 18, 2025
  • Kotlikoff Not Sure This Best Time To Redeem Newly Acquired Mar-A-Lago Flight Voucher
  • “Gays For Trump” Knew They Were Onto Something
  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota
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  • Kotlikoff Not Sure This Best Time To Redeem Newly Acquired Mar-A-Lago Flight Voucher

    5 hours ago5 hours ago
  • “Gays For Trump” Knew They Were Onto Something

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Nooz Explains: Trump–Kotlikoff Deal

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • E-Scooter Going Right, No, Left, No—

    1 week ago
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Squirrels

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Campus Squirrel Contemplates Digging 1,500 Small Holes

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

TOWER ROAD — Speedily rubbing its paws together and darting its tail this way and that, an indecisive campus squirrel reportedly contemplated whether or not to dig over one thousand small holes in the ground. “Those woodchips over there look pretty easy to move around. I could probably dig a few holes by that tree…

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Squirrel Watching Club Neglects Duties as Squirrels Rampage Through Campus

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

HO PLAZA — The Cornell campus was on high alert at 11 p.m. last night when a horde of squirrels went into a frenzy through campus after the Squirrel Watching Club neglected its duties during finals week to watch squirrels for radical behavior. “We acknowledge our shortcomings, and we apologize,” said Elizabeth Harvey ’16, president…

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