Squirrels – CU Nooz

Headlines

University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though
5 hours ago5 hours ago
E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even
7 hours ago7 hours ago
Harry Potter Ass Motherfucker Studying Under Olin Stairs
1 day ago1 day ago
Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up
1 day ago1 day ago
Ty Dolla $ign Still Waiting for OurBus Back From Syracuse Airport
2 days ago2 days ago
Kotlikoff Sowwy For Washing Away Political Chalk Messages, Just Wanted To Play Hopscotch
2 days ago2 days ago

Campus Squirrel Contemplates Digging 1,500 Small Holes

Nooz Staff9 years ago01 mins

TOWER ROAD — Speedily rubbing its paws together and darting its tail this way and that, an indecisive campus squirrel reportedly contemplated whether or not to dig over one thousand small holes in the ground. “Those woodchips over there look pretty easy to move around. I could probably dig a few holes by that tree…

Squirrel Watching Club Neglects Duties as Squirrels Rampage Through Campus

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

HO PLAZA — The Cornell campus was on high alert at 11 p.m. last night when a horde of squirrels went into a frenzy through campus after the Squirrel Watching Club neglected its duties during finals week to watch squirrels for radical behavior. “We acknowledge our shortcomings, and we apologize,” said Elizabeth Harvey ’16, president…