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January 10, 2026
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
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  • “If you love something, set it free,” Student Deletes App Just Downloaded for Free Donut

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Student Assembly

  • Cornell

Students Can’t Wait To Learn What Fee University Imposes This Year

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL – Helplessly buzzing with anticipation over their next tuition supplement, returning students are on the edge of their seats to find out what fee Cornell will charge them this year. “Personally, my bet’s with something clothing related, like a Hat Fee,” speculated Senior Gavin Treyhoust, who went on to explain that a potential…

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  • Cornell

Who Should You Vote For in the SA Presidential Election?

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago03 mins

We here at CU Nooz seek to provide our readers with the key facts they need to choose which candidate they think is best suited to serve as president of the Student Assembly. So here are the reasons you should vote for each of the SA Presidential election candidates: Vote for Matthew Stefanko if: You…

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  • Cornell

SA President Busy Rehearsing Speech for Trustees to Ignore

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

STATLER HALL — According to insider information, SA President Sarah Balik is diligently rehearsing her speech which the Board of Trustees will almost immediately ignore. Initial reports indicate that Balik had spent a minimum of seven hours meticulously poring over her speech so that it is as clear, concise, and moving as possible before spending…

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