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Thursday, October 1, 2026
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

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Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

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Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

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Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

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Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

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Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

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Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

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Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

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Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

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New Sub-Letter Either Kinda Shy or Kinda Gonna Eat You

Nooz Staff3 years ago3 years ago02 mins

COLLEGE AVE—Though Adam Valla ‘25 had high hopes for his new roommate, things have been off to a rocky start. While Valla is pretty sure that his new roommate, Clay Trop ‘24, is just a little timid, he might also desire to cut Valla up into tiny pieces. “Last week he had a friend over…

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