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April 15, 2026
  • “I Don’t Think They’re Talking About the Language Anymore”: Concerns Grow about Friend Pursuing Italian Minor
  • Programming Board Announces Roster of AI Musicians for First Annual Slop Day
  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday
  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture
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  • “I Don’t Think They’re Talking About the Language Anymore”: Concerns Grow about Friend Pursuing Italian Minor

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Programming Board Announces Roster of AI Musicians for First Annual Slop Day

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist

    12 months ago
  • Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker

    12 months ago12 months ago
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Sub from Jansen’s Swaddled Like Newborn Child

Nooz Staff4 years ago02 mins

JANSEN’S MARKET—With the tenderness of a loving mother to her newborn child, Geoffrey Wu ‘25 retrieved a small wool blanket from his bag at noon today and gently wrapped it around the Southwest Chipotle Chicken Ranch Sub he had just picked up from Jansen’s Market.  “I was craving a sub, so I went to Jansen’s,”…

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