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May 13, 2025
  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
  • L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
  • Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory
  • Rest of Sesame Street Crew Also Forced to Live in Trash Cans After PBS Defunding
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  • Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory

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Sub from Jansen’s Swaddled Like Newborn Child

Nooz Staff3 years ago02 mins

JANSEN’S MARKET—With the tenderness of a loving mother to her newborn child, Geoffrey Wu ‘25 retrieved a small wool blanket from his bag at noon today and gently wrapped it around the Southwest Chipotle Chicken Ranch Sub he had just picked up from Jansen’s Market.  “I was craving a sub, so I went to Jansen’s,”…

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