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March 3, 2026
  • Fire Hazard! Asbestos Removal Notices Cover Over 10% of Dorm Room Wall Space
  • Terrorism Enthusiasts Excited For New Batch of Extremist Organizations to Emerge After Iran War
  • Snowmen Left Destitute As Snow Bank Dissolves
  • Hateful Professor Asks Question on Reading No One Read
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  • Fire Hazard! Asbestos Removal Notices Cover Over 10% of Dorm Room Wall Space

    6 hours ago6 hours ago
  • Terrorism Enthusiasts Excited For New Batch of Extremist Organizations to Emerge After Iran War

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  • Colin Joust to Headline Cornell Renaissance Faire

    12 months ago12 months ago
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  • “thanks. Sent from my iPhone” Professor Responds to Award-Winning Tear-Jerking Plea For Extension

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CUPD to Celebrate Holiday Spirit With Christmas-Themed Parking Tickets

Nooz Staff5 years ago10 months ago03 mins

ITHACA—Hoping to bring some joy to what could otherwise be described as a bleak and tumultuous year, the Cornell University Police Department has decided to switch to holiday-themed parking tickets for the month of December.  “As days get shorter and people have gone months without seeing their loved ones, we noticed that folks have been…

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Student Won’t Stop Bragging About his Back of Mezzanine Tickets for Eric Andre

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago02 mins

STATLER HALL— After spending his entire 10:10 class waiting in a digital queue to get mezzanine seat 18E for Eric Andre’s upcoming show, Ben Kilbourne ‘21 reportedly “won’t shut the fuck up” about his sucessful purchase of single ticket. “All these losers are posting on Facebook about how they missed out, and they pathetically offered…

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