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April 22, 2026
  • University Report Finds Students Need to Be Better Supported, but Ugh, It So Much Work Though
  • E&S Major Using ChatGPT Calls It Even
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  • Aww! Daily Sun Wants to Be Just Like Favorite Satire Publication When They Grow Up
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CUPD to Celebrate Holiday Spirit With Christmas-Themed Parking Tickets

Nooz Staff5 years ago12 months ago03 mins

ITHACA—Hoping to bring some joy to what could otherwise be described as a bleak and tumultuous year, the Cornell University Police Department has decided to switch to holiday-themed parking tickets for the month of December.  “As days get shorter and people have gone months without seeing their loved ones, we noticed that folks have been…

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Student Won’t Stop Bragging About his Back of Mezzanine Tickets for Eric Andre

Nooz Staff7 years ago7 years ago02 mins

STATLER HALL— After spending his entire 10:10 class waiting in a digital queue to get mezzanine seat 18E for Eric Andre’s upcoming show, Ben Kilbourne ‘21 reportedly “won’t shut the fuck up” about his sucessful purchase of single ticket. “All these losers are posting on Facebook about how they missed out, and they pathetically offered…

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