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February 21, 2026
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships
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Parents Upset Son Wasting Money Spent on Phone by Leaving It in Pocket During Lecture

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

CINCINNATI, OHIO— Cornell Parents Robert and Sarah were infuriated earlier today upon learning that their son, Joseph Plotnick ‘20, takes thorough notes in class without even glancing at his $870 iPhone 7 Plus, instead wastefully leaving it in his coat pocket during lecture. “We did not spend our hard-earned money for you to just ignore…

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