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October 14, 2025
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  • Cornell Republicans Blame Radical Left for Shutdown of Morrison Dole Whip Machine
  • National Guard Numbers Dwindle as Troops Assimilated into Greater Portland Polycule
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Parents Upset Son Wasting Money Spent on Phone by Leaving It in Pocket During Lecture

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

CINCINNATI, OHIO— Cornell Parents Robert and Sarah were infuriated earlier today upon learning that their son, Joseph Plotnick ‘20, takes thorough notes in class without even glancing at his $870 iPhone 7 Plus, instead wastefully leaving it in his coat pocket during lecture. “We did not spend our hard-earned money for you to just ignore…

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