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May 13, 2025
  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
  • L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
  • Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory
  • Rest of Sesame Street Crew Also Forced to Live in Trash Cans After PBS Defunding
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  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power

    21 hours ago21 hours ago
  • L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks

    7 days ago7 days ago
  • Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Rest of Sesame Street Crew Also Forced to Live in Trash Cans After PBS Defunding

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So-Called “Gym Shark” Not So Tough Anymore After Being Decapitated by Bench Press

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

TEAGLE HALL— In a swift reminder of his humanity, area fitness junkie Alvin Jung ‘21 was humbled after having his head cleanly cut off while on the bench press.  “He let his ego get the best of him,” said fellow gym-goer Eric Bilzerian, wearing an “In Memory of Alvin” sleeveless T-shirt that exposed his nipples….

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