Skip to content
January 11, 2026
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • FWS On “Socioeconomic Impacts Of 19th Century French Colonialism” Surprisingly Not As Fun As FWS On “Watching Movies With Joyous Whimsy”

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • “If you love something, set it free,” Student Deletes App Just Downloaded for Free Donut

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • OP-ED: Hey Ryan, So Like Now That You’re On Sabbatical, I Was Wondering If You’d Like To Maybe Hang Out Sometime Soon? We Can Grab Coffee On Friday Haha. I’m Sort Of Behind On Rent So If You Could Pay That Would Be Cool

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Report: Vitamin D Supplements Doing Little to Hinder Bleak, Hopeless Future

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Frat With No Pledges Handing Out Sad Little Pamphlets Outside Dining Hall Like An A Capella Group

    2 years ago2 years ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • February
  • 13

February 13, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Student Breaks World Record Time Driving Home for Break

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago04 mins

BROOKLYN, NY – In a thrilling turn of events, Jake Glassner ‘14 drove home from Cornell University to metropolitan New York City area in a record-breaking time of 3:06, taking a gold medal home to his parents and his country. “I’ve trained my whole life for this,” said Glassner. “Ever since my family drove up…

Read More
  • Uncategorized

Job Market Looks Promising for Graduates, According to Mom

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

NEW HAVEN, CT- The job market for Cornell students graduating in 2014 is looking great, according to the mother of Kyle Westing, ’14. “Cathy’s son, remember him? He just got a job out in California. You’ll be sure to find a job!” said Mrs. Westing, talking to the 22-year-old archaeology major over the phone. With…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.