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May 13, 2026
  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
  • Student Accused of Using AI Forced to Defend Worst Discussion Post Ever
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  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power

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  • 2014
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  • 15

April 15, 2014

  • Cornell

“What The Fuck” Forecasted for This Week

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

The National Weather Service has issued a severe weather warning to residents of Tompkins county due to high chances of what the fuck. Meteorologists say that during the coming days there is an 80% chance of bullshit, with a strong god dammit coming from the north at 12 mph. Temperatures will drop as low as…

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  • Cornell

Study: Ho Plaza Eye Contact Found to Be Deadly

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY – In a cross-department study performed by sociology professor Howard Lipton and tenured biology researcher Dr. Mangold Biggins, the longstanding Cornell practice of making eye contact on Ho Plaza has been deemed a certain cause of death. According to Lipton and Biggins, the human body goes into immediate cardiac arrest when even a…

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